This article is written to advise viewers of the website. It’s basically an overview of the entire SELF-Parenting Program based on your level of participation.
Newbie or Non-Practitioner
The “yellow book” and website are 100% geared to a newbie understanding of SELF-Parenting. This is the original system, the one that inspired all the “recovery therapists” in the late 1980’s, even if they only concentrated on the “inner child” part and completely missed the “Inner Parent” aspect of this conception. Be that as it may, the guidelines on the website are clear and concise, and haven’t changed over the past 40 years as this is timeless human information.
However, the real understanding and reality of SELF-Parenting truly begins when you start daily half-hour sessions, which is totally up to you.
This is the person just starting out with 2 weeks of sessions from the book. These are designed to open up the understanding that you, as the Inner Parent, actually have a real “Inner Child.” It also presents the ideal set of guidelines to follow based on the Ten Steps and 23 Tips. These recommendations have stood the test of time.
The Committed Daily-Practitioner
If the first two weeks go well, you are likely to invest in modules to continue your practice growth. This is when the real progress begins and provides an easy transition into the subtle but deeper levels of this system. There’s also a free Step 3 mini-module (after you send your Step 3) to work through, which insures that your Self-Parenting session format will be easy to read and follow.
Each module opens up a new area of communication for the Inner Child to express who it is. They allow your Inner Child the space and acceptance to express from its side of your inner conversations. The Self-Esteem Module is a particular breakthrough allowing both selves to gain a strong sense of the possibilities using an utterly amazing technique. By the time you complete the E/F module, particularly if you have studied and applied P.E.T, and worked through your Inner Conflicts, your Inner Child will have experienced a complete renaissance and become a willing and engaged partner in your life.
The Intermediate and Beyond Modules
The Intermediate sessions begin the strategies where your Inner Parent is now allowed to become an active participant within your SELF-Parenting half-hours. Depending on the person, this can be good news or bad news. For the strong Inner Parent, it’s great, for the weak Inner Parent it can be quite a challenge. The Inner Parent is the “leader” of the two selves, so this stage has the potential to truly deepen the accountability and power of your daily sessions.
Here is what I’ve come to understand over the years based this discipline which I’m still learning and growing from personally. There’s a two-part sequence of daily SELF-Parenting sessions, which could be understood as the two legs which enable a person to walk. Both legs are important for moving forward on this path.
The DT Question
The DTQ (shorthand) was originally created to give anyone the ability to have a 100% completely positive session for the Inner Child. It totally allows the Inner Child to talk, pontificate, discuss, lecture, or originate on any topic that it would like. And the only Inner Parent response allowed is, “TYICFTMT.”
This is amazing and works like a charm. What I wasn’t aware of in the early days was how important the DTQ was to become to the whole system. As the years rolled by, the DTQ is now one of the major “legs” of the SELF-Parenting Program. The other “leg” being upgrading and progressing along your Module practice. Early on I had no idea how fundamental and amazing this system of alternating session styles was to become.
The part that gets tricky is that as you increase your communication, the Inner Child comes up with a long list of advisable actions to pursue. Sort of like when a child can see an obvious answer to a complicated issue that even adults can’t see.
This is where the unskilled Inner Parent can become bogged down if it doesn’t “up its game.” The DTQ sessions give your Inner Child the option and right to communicate what’s currently on its mind based on your current life. It’s up to your Inner Parent to listen to and act on the suggestions your Inner Child provides. This is where the win/win problem solving partnership develops into a lifetime strategy.
The SELF-Parenting Program Modules
The early modules were designed to take the Inner Parent through a guided experience of “getting to know and accepting” your Inner Child. The P/Q, S/E, and E/F modules are quite an amazing journey in awareness if you follow them as prescribed. As I’ve grown and developed this system, I’ve created an additional 10+ modules that I don’t talk about much until you are ready.
I hope I’ve made this clear, but if not, then I’m doing so now. The way these “two legs” work best is to practice a module session one day, and then do a DTQ session the next day.
The MODULE sessions are for the Inner Parent to grow in responsibility, and the DTQ sessions allow the Inner Child to give guidance and feedback on current life issues. Together they work perfectly to allow both selves to become conscious participants in growing and guiding your life. They provide an ideal forum for the mind and emotions to cooperate with each other for the good of both sides. If you stop your module practice, you stop your growth as an Inner Parent.
As I like to mention, SELF-Parenting is “Inner Parent” work. It’s the Inner Parent that must mature in awareness and understanding to improve its crucial role to reprogram the way it was “programmed” as a child. Much of this mental dysfunction is buried deep in your inner conversations. It takes time and outer life experience to expose these areas.
Typically, by the end of the Beginner to Intermediate 10 Steps, the Inner Child is mostly “recovered” and free to be its natural self. It has been allowed to express on a variety of topics and has been accepted and acknowledged by the Inner Parent following the 23 tips. This was the easier part. The Inner Parent was being restricted and ideally allowed only the positive skill to say, “TYICFTMT” which is hard to learn but deeply necessary to perfect as the IP.
The Intermediate and Advanced levels of growth involve the Inner Parent becoming a Co-partner in digging into its outer programming. Each of us had a different experience growing up within a wide range of dysfunctional outer parent scenarios. So, this part is totally unique to each person based on the reality of your outer parenting and the culture within which you were raised.
However, since “consciousness growth” is not a mystery, what the Intermediate, Advanced, and Lifetime modules do is bring each practitioner’s Inner Parent through a prescribed gauntlet of ideas and experiences that reveal deeper and deeper levels of Inner Parent awareness to become truly functional on its side of the IP/IC relationship. Even though this is done in “bite sized” half hour steps, this is not a particularly easy journey for most Inner Parents.
People seem to get bogged down somewhere along the Intermediate 10 Steps. Which is unfortunate, as there’s so much joy and life functionality if they can get through the journey. Basically, if you are not on a current module, you have stopped your Inner Parent’s growth using this system.
I do try to help. I’ve reduced financial cost to the lowest possible amount, which turns out to be $40 a month. I’m still available to advise and offer my assistance, at least for a little while. The motivation and strength to continue this journey is up to you, as the Inner Parent.
Essentially, all good things in SELF-Parenting Program will come to pass if you stay on the Modules system and practice the DTQ on the alternate days as you progress through the practice. I’m not saying it’s easy, but if energy and fulfillment of your life’s purpose is the goal, this system will bring it to you.