I’ve been very clear about the importance of resolving Inner Conflicts. I’ve made these points many times over the years. Everything in SELF-Parenting eventually comes down to resolving Inner Conflicts.

I addressed this yet again in the recent course video (YouTube link).

If you don’t know about this free course, it’s here at:


So much so that I thought this was understood by everyone, so I don’t understand why people have not internalized this deeply. Even so, recently I received some support questions about Inner Conflicts from 3-4 SELF-Parenting Practitioners.

So, just to summarize resolving Inner Conflicts once again, please be aware of the following points.

  1. When you have, think you have, might have, could have, possibly be experiencing an inner conflict, start the 8 Steps to Inner Conflict Resolution to resolve it right then and there.
  2. Resolving Inner Conflicts is #9 of the ten steps but can/must be done at any time you think you might have one.
  3. Follow the 8 Steps, as in the books, website, course, etc. Complete each step before going to the next step.
  4. Have some of the forms printed out from the website in your binder, open Section 2 of the yellow book, it’s in the blue book somewhere. Use any paper, just get the party started.
  5. Don’t wait for morning your session to do an Inner Conflict. just do it as soon as you realize or even think you have one.
  6. Don’t waste your SELF-Parenting session on an Inner Conflict because they typically take longer than half-hour plus, they use up the value of your session for that day.
  7. You do your SELF-Parenting first thing in the am. If you have an Inner Conflict when you wake up, that’s because you didn’t resolve it the night before, or whenever you first thought it might be an Inner Conflict.
  8. Inner Conflicts are increasingly resolved over a continuum of 1-3 years of SELF-Parenting. It’s the most important of the Ten Steps.
    1. At first, they are typically “inner Bashings” which you need to learn how to recognize and stop.
    2. Next, they are either mild, average, or severe, but in whatever case, go through the 8 Steps of Inner Conflict Resolution to clear it. Resolve ANY Inner Conflict, especially “little ones.”
    3. Sometimes Inner Conflicts are Outer Conflicts, and vice versa. It all depends on your unique circumstances.
    4. Sometimes (but not typically) your first Inner Conflict is the worst one ever. Oh well, just get started on it and plug away.
    5. Your breakthrough Inner Conflict is typically one where you realize your two inner voices are “switched.” The voice you assumed was the Inner Child was the Inner Parent and vice versa. Sometimes this has to pointed out by someone else, like me.
    6. You are welcome to send me a difficult Inner Conflict if I can read it. Type out the step 2 if you are not sure. Use left and right paragraph formatting.
    7. It takes 15-20 Inner Conflict Resolutions to finally learn to get this procedure down. There are no shortcuts.
    8. If an Inner Conflict gets half-worked out, but not completely, add 1 to your total, and start over from the new understanding. This is why it takes 15-20 to resolve.
    9. After the first 15-20 they are easy to solve.
    10. Eventually you won’t have any Inner Conflicts, or they will be very rare, easily recognizable and easily solved.
    11. Until this time keep returning to Number 1.
    12. Inner Conflicts are good, because when you get over them you have big jump in SP awareness. The more the better, so they get gone sooner. 

Use the form on the website, follow each step exactly, and get good at this as soon as possible. If there are any more questions about this not answered in this article, let me know so I can update it for the website.

All my best,

John Pollard