A “Dialogue Template” Question: The Easy Way to Ask “Safe” Questions

One problem new practitioners run into is they ask their Inner Child “loaded” or “pre-judged” questions, without really knowing they are doing this. This upsets the IC, especially if you do this within the safe space of your S/P session and it will often retaliate or become upset but the Inner Parent does not know why.

An example of this is asking your Inner Child, “Why are so angry?” when in fact the IC is not angry at all. Maybe it is disappointed or upset, who knows? You always want to ask your Inner Child a open-ended question, one which does not force a specific answer of point of view. In this example, the safest way to ask this question if you have to ask is, “Inner Child, are you angry?” That way at least it can give a yes or no reply.

For the best sessions, you can use this Dialogue Template to begin your session assuming your Inner Parent doesn’t have any particular pressing issue it wants to discuss. This is often how I begin a session and is also how I teach clients to begin making up their own questions.

Starting your session this way means you will have your Inner Child’s immediate interest, which often has the session speeding by. This Dialogue Template represents a three-step procedure:

1. After the Opening, begin your session with this question.

“Inner Child, is there anything you would like to talk about?”

Inner Child response.

2. After it answers, and you have responded with a circled TY, etc, ask:

“Inner Child, what about ____________________ ?”

(In the blank you write out EXACTLY whatever
your IC just answered above for question one.) If your Inner Child
has said quite a lot, do your best as the Inner Parent to sum up the essence
of what your Inner Child has said, in as few words as possible,
so s/he can continue to respond.

Inner Child response.

3. After your Inner Child completes its full answer, ask:

“IC, is there anything else about ____________________ you want to talk about?”

Inner Child response.

(In the blank is whatever your IC said in response to question two.)

This works quite smoothly once you practice a few times. The trick is to never leave a sequence without question 3 being asked and your Inner Child saying, “No.”

Let’s say after a while your Inner Child is no longer interested in talking about _________________. If there is more time available, continue your session by asking.

1. “IC, is there anything ELSE you would like to talk about?”

2. Repeat question 2.

3. Repeat question 3.

Don’t forget to follow the 23 Tips, “TY” circled, etc, as usual.

Doing your session this way guarantees a positive experience for your Inner Child. If you have any questions email me.

dr_john_pollard at selfparenting.com