Have You Ever Heard “A Conversation” Inside Your Mind?
If you have, or think you haven’t, take the next minute to “listen within.” You might just hear an inner dialogue that sounds a lot like this:
An INNER CONVERSATION: While reading this website.
|“Me? A conversation in my mind? What does that mean?”
|“I don’t know, but I don’t think I should be having conversations in my mind.”
|“Maybe it’s when you hear voices.”
|“No way! I can’t tell anybody that I hear voices in my head. They’ll think I’m crazy.”
|“Well, maybe, but there IS some kind of conversation going on in here. I think a lot.”
|“I don’t know. Maybe once I talked to myself.”
|“I think I do hear conversations in my mind, come to think of it.”
|“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”
|“What is this website about anyway?”
|“I don’t know, but I want to find out more.”
|“So, keep reading and see what happens.”
What Is SELF-Parenting?
SELF-Parenting (S/P) describes the way your Inner Parent (IP) “parents” your Inner Child (IC) inside your Inner Conversations. S/P says that by default (to use a computer term), your Inner Parent treats your Inner Child the same way as you were parented by your outer parents (or their equivalents).
If your outer parents did a great job, then you are the beneficiary. If your parents did a “bad” job, then this is why you would want to become a more positive IP. When you begin using the Self-Parenting exercises to listen carefully, you will hear your IP treating your IC the same way that your parents parented you.
Do You Have ‘Psychological’ Problems?
“Psychological problems” are many times just negative Self-Parenting. If your outer parenting was dysfunctional then you were never been taught how “normal” parenting works. How can you learn to solve the problems of a bad S/P Style when self-doubt and self-sabotage are part of your S/P style?
How Do You Solve S/P problems?
When you spend 30 aware minutes with your Inner Child each day first thing after waking up, it doesn’t take long (3-6 weeks) for even the most difficult IC to respond positively. Once your IC becomes positive you will typically find that your next stage of growth, will be more of the IP’s issue.
The reason that things go wrong in your life is typically due to your Inner Parent, not the Inner Child. This is an extremely important understanding where the “inner child work” copycats got it wrong. It’s the Inner Parent that must stop being negative to the Inner Child. Then the Inner Child will be naturally become it’s true self.
What Exactly Is Self-Parenting?
Self-Parenting” defines the qualitative structure and function of your mind as an ongoing inner conversation between two voices:
- The Inner Parent, which is represented by the Left Brain, and
- The Inner Child, which is represented by the Right Brain.
Your personal version of Self-Parenting is created from the unique type and quality of outer parenting you experienced growing up. Every person had a diverse and distinctive set of experiences growing up.
Your INNER PARENT voice was created from the combined experience (or lack thereof) of your outer parents, or equivalents. As you’ve grown and become your own person, your Inner Parent is now who most people consider “YOU” to be. The IP is also called “the ego” in psychology and this an equivalent comparison.
Your INNER CHILD voice is who you were as a child, even though now you are an adult. Your IC voice never goes away, even though it can be suppressed or ignored by your IP. The way you reacted to your outer parents as a child, is the way your IC reacts to your IP today.
Because your parents couldn’t be perfect, as adults you can often start to abuse/ignore your IC to different degrees without even realizing. If your outer parenting was remarkably abusive or neglectful then you already know how tough it can be inside your mind.
What’s the good news? Conscious daily S/P exercises can repair any broken or dysfunctional S/P style, assuming your Inner Parent takes the necessary Ten Steps to achieve this result.
If you are completely new to Self-Parenting, you will experience an excellent and enjoyable introduction in Part III of the “yellow book” in the easiest way possible. If you make “understanding yourself” a priority in life, you’ll find conscious S/P sessions to bring you major benefits far beyond what you might currently realize now reading these pages. Welcome.