Self-Parenting Support Groups

Why We Had Support Groups …

SELF-PARENTING is a solitary process. One sits down, follows the session protocol for thirty minutes, and that’s it. Right? There is no need for anyone else to be there or to help guide the process. Right? You do your sessions everyday; you feel fantastic and life just gets better and better. Right?

Technically speaking, all of the above are true. But one thing the SELF-PARENTING Program found out very early was that encouragement from others could provide motivation. And for most people, daily sessions of Self-Parenting are just too difficult to sustain without an external support system. The forces of “reality” simply place too much pressure on a weak Inner Parent.

And let’s make no mistake about it. Not doing daily sessions is the fault of a weak Inner Parent. Whatever excuses or denials exist, it is the non-caring, negative Inner Parent who will not set aside at least thirty minutes for the most important person in his/her life, the Inner Child

So, paradoxically, the most effective route to a positive Self-Parenting style is to join a SELF-PARENTING Support Group for at least six months. This is the approximate amount of time it takes to truly integrate the practical principles of Self-Parenting into the “real world.”

A properly run SELF-PARENTING Support Group creates a group equity. The group energy helps to sustain the individuals in the group. This energy is created by committed members who practice their Self-Parenting sessions, attend meetings regularly, and pay their dues either financially or through service.

Commitment to a group begins with commitment to yourself. If a member doesn’t practice sessions, attend meetings, or pay dues, he or she drains energy from the group. Members who contribute their time and positive energy to the group sustain the SELF-PARENTING Program. The success of the group depends upon committed individuals following their membership roles:

  • Practicing their daily Self-Parenting sessions
  • Attending meeting regularly
  • Paying dues or performing service

Support groups love, support, and nurture your growth. Every animal species needs care during its early stages of growth. Without maternal support the children of every species are susceptible to predators during the earliest stages of life.

In a similar manner, a young seedling may need support, perhaps extra watering, protection from the wind, or a carefully placed stick for it to grow. Once it has taken root, it is capable of surviving on its own under “normal” conditions. Many people starting the Self-Parenting process do not do so under “normal” conditions. In fact, they may have never experienced “normal” at all.

When beginning Self-Parenting sessions you give birth to a significant amount of emotional life, which is susceptible to early damage if not cared for correctly. This is why the session protocols outlined in Chapter Nine, although simple, are critically important to follow during the first 90 days.

Changing anything, even inadvertently, can be like forgetting to water a plant for a few days or having the stake fall to the ground. The hardiest plants will survive, but many more will not. You may not do it intentionally, but the damage is done nonetheless.

Here, unfortunately, is the bad news. I tried supporting outside Self-Parenting Support Groups. The ones I ran worked well, but I could never get anyone to run one properly without turning it into their own ego trip. I provided excellent materials (both to lay people and professionals) on starting a support group, but it just never happened.

Now that accessing the internet is a practical reality for most people, everything you need to get to Intermediate Practitioner Status is now on the website. If you make it to Intermediate, then consultations become more important as there are many pitfalls once you begin “climbing the mountain” to a positive self-parenting style.

13 Responses to Self-Parenting Support Groups

  1. Martha Watson says:

    Where do I find a support group in my area, Dallas, Texas? We have ACA here but could not find Self Parenting Program Support Groups on web using Google search . Thank you.

  2. Mark Rossman says:

    Ok I left a message or statement before so I’ll say it again- thanks for this website!

  3. Andrea Andersen says:

    I’m attending ACA meetings and this prompted my web search for self parenting information. Hence, I’ve found your work. I second Mark Rossman’s sentiments, thank you Dr. Pollard!

  4. Jeane says:

    Were do I find a support group in Toronto? Thank you Dr. Pollard!

    • Jeane,

      I am your support group in Toronto. And that goes for anyone else asking about any other city. All you have to do is follow the 23 Tips and Ten Steps to Intermediate per the website and you can always email me any questions you might have about your practice. There are no “official” support groups due to problems in the past. The basic idea is to follow those 23 Tip and Ten Steps and it’s all easy from there. If you log on the mailing list I send emails/updates occasionally. All my best, Dr. Pollard

  5. Marguerite G. says:

    I appreciate all the information provided on your website. I’ve only been acquainted with the info for only a few hours. What led me to the website your video on YouTube on 3 steps to self-parenting. However, I was listening to ho’oponono when I noticed your video. I am glad that I clicked link.

    My question is: There seems to be various methodologies available. Are you aware of the Emotional Freedom Techique? Ho’oponono (which derives from the Huna Hawaiian practices which you are familiar with)? Doyletics (which is the removal of various childhood trauma/issues that take root before the age of six)? I like all of the programs mentioned yet I suppose I desire a major shift in my life. They’ve all provided some benefit, yet I am in search of something that touches me to the core, I suppose.

    Thanks for your time.

    • >> yet I am in search of something that touches me to the core, I suppose.

      This is the original source of Self-Parenting. To experience being “touched to the core” all you’ll have to do is read the “yellow book” Part I, and then start the practice in Part III, following the Ten Steps and 23 Tips. Usually I reply directly but I’m writing this as it might help others in your situation. You are close. 😉

  6. Liz says:

    Hello, i have bought the two books and am looking forward to getting started once they land in my post box!
    So far in my life, any morning practice i have decided to incorporate into my life has taken huge amounts of self discipline and external motivation. How do others ensure they stick to this process every morning (right now, from the position of foresight…it seems easy, but my inner parent is an abandoning and absent one and without support i wont manage this daily) . Intersted in your thoughts :-)

    With thanks

    • but my inner parent is an abandoning and absent one and without support i wont manage this daily) . Intersted in your thoughts :-)

      We call this the “weak Inner Parent” and it is indeed a problem. Usually people do well in the beginning of practice because it is so amazing when your IC starts telling you stuff. But then the IP gets used to it and starts to not follow the Ten Steps or the 23 Tips as perfectly and then things go downhill. The ones that make it are the ones who consistently and accurately respond directly to the IC in a positive way by following the Ten Steps and 23 Tips to the letter. Good luck!

      • Liz says:

        Thanks loads John. So, I am on day 12 now and already intuit that this is going to be the most significant therapeutic intervention i have ever done :-)

        some advice please John….sometimes when i ask the questions I simply see a picture in my mind……so far, what i then do is interpret the picture with a statment like “i liked my pet” for example…but that is an interpretive voice, and I am not sure it is my Inner Child voice. What should i do when i simpky get shown a picture, or perhaps only get a feeling response?
        Thanks! Liz :-)

        • In this situation, I would write, on the IC’s side, “a picture of ________” along with any other details in the picture. I would not interpret, as you say, “I liked my pet.” This is the kind of thing that happens during the early sessions and will fade when the IC becomes more trusting of the process, and you, as the IP, are genuinely following the 10 Steps and 23 Tips.

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